The writing prompt is: Go down the rabbit hole with Alice; play quidditch with Harry Potter; float down the river with Huck Finn… If you could choose three fictional events or adventures to experience yourself, what would they be?
So, to calm myself after my demon possessed GPS fiasco yesterday, I took to writing and here’s what I came up with. I hope you enjoy it.
It was Thursday morning. Early. I knew because I could hear my neighbor’s poodle, Millie, furiously yapping at the garbage man, as was the ritual. I buried my head in the pillow trying to drown out the sound and return to the haze of a dream I was forgetting. Too late. I sighed and rolled over on my back.
“All I want is sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep,” I whined aloud, with a few fake sobs thrown in.
Millie just wouldn’t let up. I stood and looked out my window. She wasn’t yelping at the mailman.
“Oh my God!” I squealed, excitedly throwing on yesterday’s clothes. I flew out the front door, and down the cobblestone path, slowing down once I reached my gate with my towering magnolia trees. I opened the gate and stepped out onto the sidewalk.
There, with his long flowing blonde hair, exquisite blue eyes and his elven glory, stood Legolas curiously observing the hyper spastic pet.
“She never shuts up,” I offered.
He turned to me.
“At least until he knows who you are.”
He crouched down by the fence, almost eye to eye with the canine. On the breeze I could hear a faint chant, and Millie quieted down. Pleased, Legolas stood with a smug smile.
“You promised to teach me that one day,” I reminded him.
“Today is not that day,” he responded, the smile fading from his face. “I am fighting a formidable foe. I came to ask your aid.”
“Me?” I ran my fingers through my tangled hair. “How can I help? I don’t even have shoes on.”
Legolas grinned at me, and my legs turned to butter.
“Oh alright. You knew I would, didn’t you?” I started back to the house; Legolas close on my heels. He grinned again.
“I knew you would.”
Once inside, Legolas regaled me with talks of how there was a certain book of pages that he must retain, but it’s in a dubious site and his weaponry cannot break the walls.
“I tried climbing in,” he shared reluctantly, “but alarms sounded and so I was forced to flee. It’s imperative that I return this book to my people. It’s our sacred book.”
“What is this book?” I asked.
“The Biola Noafa,” he closed his eyes in reverence. “It’s our most holy book and what we strive to live by in each of our elven lives.”
His eyes opened, now with urgent pleading.
“Help me return it to my people.”
“Let me make a phone call.”
In ten minutes, a knock came from the front door.
“It’s open!” I called.
“You should always lock your doors,” a male voice called as he entered. He swaggered in with his know it all attitude, chiseled chin and even more chiseled physique.
“Legolas,” I smiled, “this is James Bond.”
Legolas, who had already arisen with the knock, nodded his head silently. James looked him up and down.
“Not from around here, are you?”
“James, Legolas has had a book stolen from him and we need to get it back.” I patted him on the shoulder.
His eyes lingered on Legolas for a moment and then met mine. They were bluer than I remembered, damn him.
“Do I get paid for this, or is this the goodness of my heart?”
Legolas exclaimed, “You’d be returning the holy book to the Elves! What payment do you require?”
James glanced at the impassioned elf and back to me, his eyes mocking him. I scowled at him for a millisecond and then asked, “I’d like to help him. I have no money.”
“Can you pay me like you did the last time?” James chuckled.
Embarrassed, I shot a look to Legolas whose scorn was apparent.
“We’ll discuss payment to you after we get that book. Deal?” I really wanted to change the subject.
“Let’s break it down.”
We stayed at my house for most of the night working on plans of attack, with a short break to order some pizza.
“By the stars!” Legolas cried out when he tasted it, “this is so much more tasty than lembas!”
Sometime around sunrise, of course while I was nodding off, James said, “We need to do it today. He wouldn’t expect that.”
“Can I get some sleep first?”
My question was met with looks that I can only describe as disdain and disgust. I sighed. LOUDLY.
“Fine. Let’s go.”
As James drove us in his souped up Aston Martin towards the city. Legolas looked queasy. I tapped his knee as if to ask if he was alright.
“I’m not used to this form of sorcery,” he said through gritted teeth.
James chuckled to himself. I slapped his arm.
“No laughing!” I commanded.
He winked at me and veered the car off the road. It looked as if we were going to slam into the side of the bridge. The Wilhelm scream had nothing on the decibels that Legolas hit as the bridge’s hidden door opened up and welcomed us into a facility with bright overhead lights and scurrying people in lab coats. The car skidded to a stop and James turned around.
“Do you need to use the bathroom before we leave?”
Legolas gasped for air. James turned to me.
“Is he really going to be able to do this?”
“He’s a warrior,” I whispered. “He’s fought dragons.”
James eyes the still wheezing Legolas and looked back at me.
“Uh huh. Wait here.” James exited the car and had a very heated conversation with someone over some equipment he threw into some black bags. I focused my attention on Legolas.
“Legolas, are you okay?”
He was calmer now. His breathing was steady. His thumb was in his mouth as he bit it.
“I just was not expecting to head into a mountain today. That’s all.”
I patted his leg.
“It’ll be okay, sweetheart.”
He grabbed my hand and studied my face.
“What did James mean when he said you could pay him back like last time?”
My face flushed as I forced myself to not spout out a thousand lies. The front door flew open and James tossed the bags of gear into the back seat next to Legolas. I thankfully re-situated in my seat.
“We have to bring these back when we’re done,” James stated flatly. “Apparently the intern will let Q know if we don’t.” He rolled his eyes.
“Did you find out where the Biola Noafa is being held?” I asked.
“Yes, we’re headed there now.”
The car revved up and we were out of the facility in no time.
Legolas steadied himself in the seat, a sudden surge of meaning in is gaze.
“WHERE is the Biola Noafa?” he demanded.
James steel eyes glinted; his hands tightened the wheel.
Dusk was kind to Metropolis, creating silver linings behind the city buildings making it almost look magical. James drove us straight to a skyscraper that overlooked The Daily Planet.
“Is Superman joining us?” I snickered as I got out of the vehicle.
“Get real,” James tossed me a bag to carry.
Legolas spiritedly jumped over to the base of the building and knocked on the windows as if to test their strength.
James paused, studied him for a few seconds and then in a hushed tone to me, said, “Seriously?”
I watched Legolas for a second and just shrugged. I pulled the other bags out of the car. James threw one over his shoulder and grabbed the other.
“So, you and Legolas,” he said. “What’s the story with that?”
“Oh, um…” my heart pounded and I looked away, hoping James didn’t see the sweat droplets starting to appear on my brow. “We met at-“
“Come see!” Legolas cried out.
Oh thank God, I thought. And immediately ran to his side. He pointed at the elevator through the window.
“We may not have to venture on a laborious climb,” he said. “I’ve been scouting this contraption. It seems it rises and falls and takes travelers to where they wish. Perhaps we can request a ride.”
James chortled aloud and walked through the doors into the lobby.
“Let’s see what James does,” I said to Legolas and added on the way in, “Great work, scouting!” He smiled, pleased with himself.
We followed James into the elevator, who stopped it halfway to the penthouse. He unzipped the bags and tossed us all weapons of all sorts. They were heavy and black and hurt if you missed the catch and they fell on your toes.
Legolas picked up a machete.
“This I will not need.”
James, now dressed in all black, blinked.
“You may be grateful you have that when you see who we’re up against.”
I strapped on some guns, but I’m pretty sure I did it wrong because the leg thingy kept falling down to my calf. A hostile sigh emitted from James who strapped everything onto me.
“Didn’t you remember anything I taught you?” he said, exasperated. Legolas eyed him suspiciously and cut his eyes back to me. I looked away just before his gaze met mine.
“Let’s get the Biola Noafa!” I declared.
“I’m serious,” James said quietly, “this is truly, as Legolas says, a formidable foe. Watch your step. He’s tricky. He’s villainous. And he will do you harm and not think twice about it.”
“How bad can Lex Luthor really be? Come on. He always gets caught! Please!” I laughed.
The door chimed.
We stood ready to take back the stolen Biola Noafa and kick some serious ass, if needed.
The door slid open. The air was cold, clinical.
“This doesn’t look like Lex Luthor’s decor,” I whispered, noticing the sparse gray atmosphere.
James slid by me silently, gun aimed and ready.
“It isn’t,” he whispered.
Quietly, we stepped out of the elevator and were met by the sounds of our own heartbeats and breathing. Legolas furiously tapped my shoulder. I looked and him and he pointed straight ahead.
There, encased in a glass box, was the Biola Noafa.
James quickly shook his head no and looked up.
The ceiling was domed with lights. The walls were bare. No motion detectors. No cameras.
TRAP! he mouthed.
But the Biola Noafa was right there. And Legolas wanted it. He started, but James grabbed his shoulder and shook his head no, motioning to the floor. We looked down. The tiles appeared to be made of some sort of absorbent, yet lighted panels.
“I don’t like it,” James whispered.
“Like it of not, I came for the Biola Noafa!” Legoals whispered loudly.
“And I came for Sasha! Not you. You’re not getting her killed!”
“I would never let any harm come to my-“
“Oh look at the time!” I interjected. “We need to be out in a few minutes before they notice the Aston Martin!”
They frowned at me, and to tell you the truth, I was feeling a bit uneasy with the entire thing. I was stupid to add James to the mix. My God, even with his big gun and reckless ways, he can still be a complete middle schooler and poor Legolas just doesn’t understand that this isn’t Middle Earth. With both of them eyeing me, the walls felt like they were closing in. I was having trouble finding air.
“Cover me!” I cried.
And before I could form a rational though, I ran over to the encasing and lifted it. I didn’t even check to see if it was wired. What the hell was the matter with me? I grabbed the Biola Noafa and placed the cover back over the now empty case. Excited, I turned to the guys and lifted the book high, all smiles.
It was their expressions that made me realize I needed to urinate. I froze. Slowly, I lowered the book to my chest and noticed that there was a sound other than my own heartbeat. Breathing. Legolas’s eyes scanned the figure behind me, his bow at the ready. James’ eyes were as wide as saucers. His Walther PPK was still raised. More breathing.
He’s behind me, I thought.
I like to think my eyes expressed my gratitude for both Legolas and James for coming with me and for sticking by my side. I’d like to think that. I was told later I looked like I battling constipation. At any rate, I turned around.
Face to face with the thief of the Biola Noafa.
Face to face…
… with Darth Vader.
“Oh shit!” I shrieked and fell to the floor, still clutching the stolen article.
“Yes,” Darth responded. “I see you chose to steal something that I’ve chosen to belong to me.”
“That is a holy book!” yelled a defiant Legolas, “and that does NOT belong to you!”
He shot a series of arrows that Vader easily deflected with the force.
“Impressive,” he said, “Very impressive. I didn’t know ewoks could get so tall.”
Legolas bounded over to my side and yanked me up to my feet.
“What an ewok is, I do not know,” he declared, “but this book belongs to my people.”
“Darth Vader,” I said, lowering my eyes, “I’m terribly sorry for stealing from you. I was trying to help my friend here, and honestly I thought this was Lex Luthor’s place.”
Vader lifted me up via the force and I hovered.
“Sorcery!” Legolas cried.
Ricochets sounded as James emptied a clip in Vader’s direction. Everything missed, of course. He had the force.
“These fight for you?” Vader asked me.
I hesitantly offered a slight smile and nodded.
“Do they even know you?”
More arrows. More bullets. I twirled high above their heads. It didn’t hurt. I was only floating. But I admit, I was in a precarious position and wasn’t sure how it’d play out.
James threw a grenade. Vader made it fizzle. Legolas, at on point, attempted to jump on Vader’s back to remove his helmet, but he was thrown to the wall and it took a few seconds for him to recover.
Darth Vader just laughed and laughed.
James rummaged through the last black bag and emerged with a small device. With the push of a button, a long light appeared.
“A light saber!” I screamed. “How did you get one of those and why didn’t you get me one!?”
I fell the the ground as Darth Vader activated his saber.
Legolas ran to me.
“Are you alright?”
I nodded, never taking my eyes off the impressive sword fight. I handed him the Biola Noafa.
“You risked your life for this,” Legolas’s eyes teared.
“It’s important to you,” I replied. I leaned in-
“”Um, guys, can we go?” James yelled.
Legolas sprang to his feet, taking me with him. We ran to the elevator.
“I don’t think so,” Vader stated calmly, and with his force death grip raised us all up in the air. We gasped and fought against the invisible hand that was crushing our windpipes.
“Thieves die here.” Vader said.
I glanced through my tears to the guys, who both were refusing to die with their sheer will. Everything got splotchy and blurry…
…and suddenly we were on the ground. I shook my head and looked up.
“Come on, come on, come!” James yelled and dragged Legolas and me to the elevator.
In awe we watched the Jurassic Park T Rex roar, the cape of Vader hanging from his mandible.
The elevator doors slid shut. Bad muzak.
The car ride was silent.
Legolas held the Biola Noafa in his lap and wound finger the pages gingerly. James quietly stared ahead. I tried to sleep, but I swear James would hit a pothole on purpose.
Back at the house I collapsed onto my sofa.
“Let’s talk about payment,” James said, a glint in his eye.
“Oh well, let me send Legolas on his way with his holy book,” I replied, “I know his people must be upset not having it.”
“You risked your life today,” he said. “Was it for the book or for me?”
I threw my hand over my face.
“I knew it was Vader’s place, and I knew he wouldn’t hurt me,” I confessed.
The guys looked at each other and back to me.
“I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. It wasn’t my first trip to Metropolis.”
James edged closer on the couch.
“But he had you up in the air,” he said quietly through clenched teeth.
I sat up and drew my knees up to my chest.
Legolas sat on the other side of me.
“Is that why he asked if we knew you?” his eyes were serious.
James: “How well did HE know you?”
I glanced back and forth from them.
“Oh look at the time!” I exclaimed, standing up. “I need to shower and get ready for-“
Legolas face was contorted in pain.
“You didn’t steal the Biola Noafa for him, did you?”
I dropped to his side.
“Oh God, no! Never in a million years would I steal from you or the elves!”
His face brightened and he stood. I jumped up and he embraced me with a big hug.
“Then all is well. I shall return to my people with our treasure. I shall see you again soon, I hope. Come to the realm and pay me another visit where I can host you,” he said sweetly.
“I will, Legolas. Thank you for asking me to help you.”
“I like hosting you, Sasha,” his eyes twinkled, making me blush.
“I like to come,” I responded, giggling.
Legolas said farewell to James and was gone. I leaned against the door and sighed. I looked back. James sat on the couch with a cheshire cat grin on his face.
“Is there anyone you haven’t slept with?” he asked.
“Oh shut up, man whore,” I said, walking to my bedroom. “Come on and let’s work out this payment plan.”
And he did.
I hope you enjoyed my writing exercise.
This writing prompt was brought to us by: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/fictional-intruder/